I love Dan Savage for many reasons. He’s a genius. He’s scathing. He’s fall-off-the-bus hilarious. He’s the Best Acronym Design Artist Since Soviet times (BADASS). He destroyed Rick Santorum on Google. And he offers commonsense, magnificently composed, life-changing advice every week.
[NOTE: I also love Dan Savage because when I was 22 and living on dog food and prayer in Seattle, I dropped off a bunch of amateur-hour writing clips at The Stranger, the brilliant weekly which Dan also edits on top of running a relationship/sex advice empire. Incredibly, Dan wrote me a lengthy email, said he loved the pieces, and expressed regret that he didn’t have a job for me–and asked me to freelance. It was an incredible act of generosity that I’ll never forget. I never took him up on his fine offer, and still regret it.]
I rarely recommend videos over 30 seconds long, but this one below is a must-watch. Dan talks about the price we pay as the Price of Admission to a rollicking relationship–acknowledging we must settle to get the big prize.
This is relevant to the User Manual, albeit tangentially, in that I sometimes hear that people in a relationship think that doing the work to understand what goes into their User Manual and then providing one to their partner (or following their partner’s hard-earned User Manual) is somehow cheating. There’s a crazy expectation that their partner should know them through and through based on magic and luck even when most of us don’t know ourselves that well.
Help them out. Pay the price of admission–and give up your dream of perfect. Settle for ridiculously amazing.
And please watch this clip!