I came across a fascinating piece on a kind of therapy called PACT – a Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy. Here’s a handy overview from Gal Szekely at the Couples Center.

Rather than get to the logic of a relationship, PACE focuses on getting to the emotion. Recognize it. Acknowledge it. Understand it.

So interesting, because emotion is always at the heart of human decisions, personal and business. Throughout my career in marketing/PR, I’ve found that facts are fabulous, but emotion is everything. Just look at our president.

Also notable is that PACT focuses intensely on regulating those emotions — and calming down.

If there’s one recurring theme in the body of relationship work, it’s to burn the edge off your emotion before making a big decision or interacting with someone you care about. (Remember our Buddhist Jim Morrison?)

This makes perfect sense. But when you cogitate on it a bit, it’s also a little weird.

Consider this Grand Paradox — a point I think is so interesting it’s worth of capitalization!

Irrational emotions are the reason we fall in love in the first place. Yet to maintain those relationships, we seek to regulate the very same amazing primal force.


Note: I particularly like that that PACT’s technical terms for calming down are “regulation” and “recognizing automatic responses.” Beautiful messaging, because let’s face it — who liked being told to calm down? Why don’t YOU calm down? 

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