Took a week off from the User Manual blog — because Katia and I got engaged!


There’s a long story here, which I will gladly spool out to any readers over drinks of their purchasing. But one thing that’s become amply clear is that I’m absurdly fortunate to have her User Manual guiding me forward. I don’t have to guess what she needs–I have clear instructions. And that saves me a ton of avoidable floundering trying to crack her code.

It’s a lot easier when she just gives me the code!

One of the keys to this process, I’m increasingly realizing, is buying in. I just follow her User Manual. I don’t fight it, I don’t question what she needs, I don’t forget in the heat of the moment. I just do it. It’s  a reflex.

And it pays off–massively.

There really is no greater gift. And this stuff doesn’t take much work–maybe a couple hours?

What it does take is a commitment habit-shifting and the will to change. Which may be even harder. But it’s so so worth it.

Co-existing with any other person is hard enough. Marriage ain’t easy. Career, kids, sex, money–it’s all complicated and hard, usually with no right answer. I firmly believe the User Manual gives Katia and I the best possible shot to prevent, minimize and overcome the inevitable challenges that pop up and press on in a relationship that’s ridiculously amazing!

NOTE: I plan to make the User Manual a go-to gift for engagements and weddings, the “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” for relationships. I welcome thoughts on that!